Anti-Lovely Lady Lump tips for the Fella’s
Today we’re going to cover a few bullet points of falling off the wagon. Chuck pony style; the kind that leaves you all warm and fuzzy inside, like a Meg Ryan movie (completely normal to cry to Joe And The Volcano).
So here’s the scenario:
You’ve decided to finally commit yourself to eating better and working out.
You’ve been hitting training sessions pretty good, well, as best you can while still leaving optional room for thirsty Thursdays, liquid lunch Fridays and sweetness sweet Saturdays. Not to forget, blow my f*#*ing brains out Monday 🙂
None the less, you’re Hero-ing 3 days a week! With all due respect I’d say you’re one Celine Dion hit away from complete self-annihilation, however, here are some tips to cool your passive aggressive anger and abandonment fantasies. Take it away Johnny!
- When you want to eat something really-really-really bad, brush your teeth. If that doesn’t work, lift your shirt and gaze at your love lumps in the mirror. If that doesn’t do it, review your life insurance policy and see what it says about obesity and if there’s a Twix or Twinkie clause. Or in most cases, I’d suggest eating a clementine or orange first. Usually the sweetness of the citrus will curb some sugar cravings and lay those lovely lady lumps to rest.
- When you’re having a tantrum on training, remember if you do, you’ll be better than your closest friends at every sport in about 5 years. If that doesn’t help, remember being the HOTT DAD at the playground, BBQ’s, reunions, High School athletic events and the infatuation of all the other moms and wives is ridiculously rewarding.
- Put on a t-shirt from high school, or your favorite jeans or dress shirt that your girlfriend from three girlfriends past gifted you. Does it fit? If not, go on Facebook and find her latest profile pic. Does she look hot? Is her new boyfriend a good looking guy, maybe a little James Dean-esque-bad-boy? If so, I swear you’ll be at the gym and swallowing copious amounts of BCAA’s and protein powder in nanoseconds!
- Call your most successful friend and ask him to meet you at the gym. Usually, seeing someone kick some ass, leads to you kicking more ass! Just don’t slap asses in the gym. Cue the 1980’s-training-room-montage-scene!
- Call your ex-girlfriend, any should suffice, and ask her what went wrong. This list should provide ample weeks of hate and fantastic motivation.
- Go back in your head to a time you got your grill knocked in by the schoolyard bully. Imagine how good it would feel to approach him as an adult after a few months of hitting it hard and knocking his ass out! If he just so happens to be a UFC fighter then maybe you can revert to a memory when the lunch-lady shafted you a full serving of garlic rice ball or shitty corner piece of pizza with two sides of crust…. some people are just evil.
- Watch The Fighter or Rocky. Hell watch Designing Women if Anthony or Mary Jo inspire you. But watch something for fuel!
- When all else fails pamper yourself bro. Cucumber eyes and facials. LIFE CHANGING!
LIVE THE DREAM! And adapted from the lyrics of John Lennon “peace and chicken grease”,
Rob Belley
Rock Star Workout
Granted, many limelight whores drench their systems with tangible excesses and illegal substances, however, not many people understand the escape a starlit world delivers. And very few people, unless closely associated with the camp, understand the work ethic, tenacity, drive, devotion and focus these individuals possess.
I am very lucky at Belley Fitness, in that I’ve had the opportunity to work with rock stars, albeit successful ones.
These are images of the past of workouts conquered and handled for 90 minutes or longer, nonstop.
Full scale assault on the body.
Many people would complain or even whence at the idea of this training.
Many people believe 30-45 minutes of activity 3-5 days per week is enough to look great and improve at a good pace.
Unfortunately, this is not the case.
Most of us in the know, train upwards of hours a day. I myself require roughly 9 hours a week to stay consistent or to maintain. Sucks but someone has to do it 😉 May as well be me.
These individuals also get it. They delve into workouts sometimes 2 hours in length. Not to mention yoga poses or light pre/rehab work first thing in the morning.
So the next time you see a Rockstar in amazing shape, remember, most often they’re not genetics, their body isn’t easy to attain because they’re celebrities and have access to trainers and personal chefs.
They have great bodies and are celebrity Rockstars because they simply try and little harder and have extreme focus.
Live the dream and create your own reality!
Belley
Ridiculously Fun and Challenging Private Fitness Studio
Marshfield, 4 minutes to the beaches 😉
Friend us on Facebook or I’ll cut you =)
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Marshfield-MA/Robert-Belley-Fitness-Marshfields-Funnest-Fat-Loss-Beach-Body-Studio/174797574837
Must-Have! Shake Weight not required ;)
So you want strong forearms?
But you don’t want to look silly holding a shake weight.
Because quite frankly, it actually looks like you’re __________ something ___ while really _____ into it and honestly then the whole world knows how you look on ________ night while watching the latest coveted CINEMAX releases.
Plus, once everyone finds out, they all want you to ride middle on ski trips.
Not flattering.
So here’s your ANTI-SHAKE WEIGHT THURSDAY exercise!!!
Requirements:
A Horse
A pair of gloves
Just kidding 😉
It’s called a Burpee with Push and Pull-Up or Up Downs or Body Counters or anything clever the yoga community hasn’t thought of yet containing an animal and one adverb in the title.
Real Requirements:
You
Stationary bar fixed/mounted overhead
SIMPLE AS IT GETS!
Simply drop to the floor, into push-up position. Perform one push-up. Jump back to standing position while simultaneously leaping upward, grabbing the bar overhead, and pulling-yourself up. Drop, rinse, repeat.
Too easy.
Here’s a video link demonstrating for you.
[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/cdS1CPtI3N0" width="425" height="344" allowfullscreen="true" fvars="fs=1" /]
One of our stud athletes, Adam O’Reilly. He’s ballistic.
And if you want to get tricky, you can either add a weight vest for more resistance, OR, simply add in a muscle-up, as demonstrated by me here.
Stay real, and stay off the shake weight.
Because it makes you look _____ and didn’t your mother tell you never to represent yourself as such in public 😉
Live the dream!
Belley
www.myinsanityworkout.com
And Like OUR FACEBOOK FAN PAGE! Or we’ll cut you! 😉
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Marshfield-MA/Robert-Belley-Fitness-Marshfields-Funnest-Fat-Loss-Beach-Body-Studio/174797574837
Ridiculously Fun and Challenging Private Fitness Studio
New England Obstacle Mayhem! How Fit Are You?
This may come as a surprise, but you may not be as fit as you think you are.
Sure you can slug 12 ouncers, developing an aluminum 6-pack with the best of them, but them abs are worth no more than the 30 cents you’ll get for recycling.
Now, do you need a 6-pack?
Well it certainly helps put the groceries away. And you won’t look helpless exiting the grocer’s mart with paper bag tucked in arm. Spilling that celery and milk all over your new shell-tops!
But you and I both know you’re better than that!
And this is how, because you have self-respect 🙂
Maybe you’ve cursed a Yankee or two. But what southern gentleman hasn’t either?
Precisely! Just because you wear red sox doesn’t mean you’re awkward, it reveals class 😉
And here’s another way to enhance that character trait, with some smart obstacle options coming up I New England this summer!
Here’s your list of places to take your ocean of testosterone out on mother nature and some plastic, wire and wood! Here’s your official “I’m a Golden God” itinerary.
“I’M A GOLDEN GOD” LIST
Ruckus Boston:
Marshfield, MASSACHUSETTS
June 4th, 2011
http://www.runruckus.com
Warrior Dash
Amesbury, MASSACHUSETTS
June 25th and 26th, 2011
www.warriordash.com
Spartan Sprint:
Amesbury, MASSACHUSETTS
August 27th and 28th, 2011
http://www.spartanrace.com/
Spartan Beast (HARDER THAN SPRINT):
Killington, Vermont
August 6th, 2011
http://www.spartanrace.com/
Spartan Death Race (HARDER THAN BEAST):
Green Mountains, Vermont
June 25th into 26th, 2011
http://www.spartanrace.com/
Tough Mountain Challenge:
Sunday River, MAINE
July 23rd, 2011
http://www.toughmountain.com/
Rugged Maniac:
Southwick, MASSACHUSETTS
September 24th, 2011
http://www.ruggedmaniac.com
Metro Dash:
TBD, MASSACHUSETTS
Pre-Registration is happening now
http://www.metrodash.com/
This kid has personally entered the Death Race and Metro Dash. I am also signed up for the Beast, Tough Mountain and Ruckus this 2011. Will re-enter the Metro Dash once available too.
These are certainly deadly events for armchair quarterbacks, challenging for newbie trainee’s/recreational athletes and excitingly fun for fit folks!
If you’ve got a Saturday or Sunday free of drinking this summer available, I highly recommend you get your butt out to one of these and challenge yourself.
You may be shocked at how “Golden God” you truly are Yankee hater 😉
Until next time,
Live the dream kid!
Belley
BELLEY FITNESS | Marshfield, Massachusetts
www.rbfit.com