2011 Resolution ;)
Do you suffer from seated sweating, addictive binge eating, muffin top, barbwire/tribal arm tattoos, inconsistent sexual performances, hooked up big truck/fast furious sports car overcompensation, popped collar syndrome, jersey shore admiration, strange perspiration from Zac Effron movies or an inclination towards diet pills and energy drinks and catch-phrasing your existence with “Oh Yeah!” or “Like my shirt?” or even better yet, “What are you doing?”
(Too-Tight T-Shirt)
“Nothing. What are you doing?”
(ManGina) “Nothing. Like my tips?”
(Too-Tight T-Shirt)
“They’re banging. Like my pecs?”
(ManGina)
“They’re rocking. Like my scent? Axe…”
(Too-Tight T-Shirt)
“Straight Up Playa.”
Please Touch Me
If so this may not be the post for you.
This 2011 I’ve put in a good means of decency in 2010, and a few sweet whispers into the jolly good guy for a swift and sincere hope to an end of Jersey Shore and associated styling’s for 2012.
It’s an ambitious goal but you have to aim big in Boston.
After all, Boston metropolis is a fantastic area to easily solve the contagious New Year resolution adequacy of all sorts.
First, you could turn off your television and walk the almond and vanilla pastry scented streets of the North End… both fitness and meal preparation. Kobayashi would do it for about 57 Klondike’s.
Second, you could ditch those sunglasses at night for some inspiring red visor ski goggles to whisk to the summit of Blue Hills or Wachusett Mountain and enjoy some fresh air while learning to snowboard, ski or just good old’ fashion igloo making.
Third, imagine covering your situation-al abs (although a recent cover issue seemed flabby) with a firm layer of “gotta have it” at your local New England Cold Stone Creamery. Okay that’s not so much a goal as it is a muse to inspire curled up grown man crying on the couch while falling short another sports season since 2008 and 2004; with all due respect. This transcends the fallen to number four…
Fourth, since the Bruins haven’t won a championship since before my conception (1971 was a bit before me) why not practice trying out for the team skating at Boston Common or your backyard pond or lake in and around metro Boston. Who knows you may make it. Stay positive. Replace the hair paste with skates. Be a go-getter this 2011.
Fifth, take in the scenic summer splash of Cape Cod beaches. There’s dozens of them and quite honestly, I believe if you find a corn ear or turkey buried in the sand you can populate the entire region legally. So use the fun of sun to showcase your best beach body yet and claim some land for yourself.
Sixth, just saying sixth is awkward. So practice your ability to distinguish face painted females with drunken-perspirant of the lower Mid-Atlantic from New England gals with this handy app:
DrunkFit© Is she too fit to drunk? Or are you too drunk to fit? (A Robert Belley Fitness, LLC™2011 app)
You can explore the many sides of your 2011 fitness female hunting quest. With a ‘capture shot’ you can enter the profile into the matrix and discover whether or not you’ve found a real Jersey Gem… wink, wink.
So there you have it, six fun resolutions to kick off your reality series New Year.
Now, if you want to see some very good reality programming…
Catch HEAVY on A&E. Real world struggle and no one’s showing off in front of the camera.
Also, I suggest if you’re interested in working out but afraid to go to a gym begin with your On Demand menu on your television set. There are plenty of excellent exercise routines on there to help you begin making strides towards a better fitter you.
Till then, keep the girls normal and cool and the guys out of mirrors and singing idiotic songs about their ridiculous sense of style,
Live the dream my friends,
Rob
Check out www.RBfit.com for the latest in studio resolution opportunities
Robert Belley Fitness | Marshfield, Massachusetts
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