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BOSTON GLOBE Youth Athletics Losing Article

I highly believe in Saturday’s Boston Globe headline. I for one am swayed by the advancement of youth athletics.

A) Children have become mini-professional athletes in appearance and work schedule
B) Organizers, coaches and parents are responsible for this undoubtedly
C) It’s a society of instant-gratification, “more is better” but also, playing better/harder will not influence a decision, that I feel will ultimately hold back the participatory enjoyment of games/sports and their effect on ability to strive in later life

I’m hoping a rebirth of the traditional “have fun, play hard against friends, see who wins” competitive youth athletics comes back personally.

Remember playing town league… just one sport per season.
i.e. Not “2” or more soccer leagues simultaneously, or more than one sport at a time to detract focus and skill sets

Remember knowing the names of the kids you played/competed against?
i.e. The kids from your very own town and adjacent grade levels

Remember keeping score on the playground, backyard, driveway and looking forward to a rematch?
i.e. Actually earning a trophy or victory not just being told you were great so you and your parents would feel comfortable about your loss and feel the time spent was worth the investment

Remember going to school the next day and sports were not even the major topic of conversation?
i.e. Cartoons, what you did after school, trying to organize hangouts, not how many tournaments you just had.

Remember going to school and expecting to play once you got off the bus?
i.e. Not going to practices the next 2-4 hours afterwards.

Remember in a single car ride to the field or court you may get two or three songs only off the radio. Not watch an entire movie while traveling or listen to a full album?
i.e. Traveling to towns not adjacent to your own or to other states, regions of America

Remember when you didn’t earn a cool pro-like jersey until you qualified for the high school JV or Varsity team?
i.e. Not getting one because your parents just shelled out hundreds of dollars on a league that tries to make you look like pro athletes and as if you’ve already accomplished something noteworthy in that sport

Maybe I don’t understand it because I worked my but off as a youth athlete to earn those pro-style shirts when I was interested in sports. ONLY making the All-Star team was grounds for receiving a basketball jersey before high school. T-Shirts were for the regular season and playoffs so not everyone had been given the same credit or reward.

And by losing we learned a lot of ourselves.

I learned I didn’t enjoy losing. I did everything in my talent to ensure that next time I played I wouldn’t.

I learned to become a leader through loss. I felt if I could decide the game I’d rather that, than let someone else decide it for me.

I learned that in order to not lose, I had to practice that much wiser, harder, calculated.

I studied tapes and the history of the sport I loved.

Granted this sounds like modern day youth sports, but I was one of the only ones doing it in my grade in the early 90’s. I practiced on my own time, not organized, not every weekend, and not because it was expected of me. It didn’t interfere with studies, jobs, my parents free time, etc.

I had practice once a week. Games, maybe one or two a week. There was no car shuttle needed either. Practices were one hour, games 50 minutes. So 3 hours in a week my parents had to worry about my sports schedule.

In the remaining time, I practiced from my neighborhood and home. And every day I kept score, filmed my sessions, created a year round recreation league on my street, knew the tally of all my personal numbers and each time I tried harder and harder to win.

Because winning meant I had more opportunities. I had to earn them through victories.

Well in today’s society children are being touted as great before they’ve even accomplished anything. And without kids understanding loss how can we expect them to understand consequence?

Even today, if I submit an idea to an editor I don’t always win or get in.
So I submit more.
And they may not be approved.
So I submit more.
And eventually I get an opportunity.

I’m fortunate just to have the editors email address in the first place.

But without understanding the pain of loss as a kid I’m not sure I’d have the drive as an adult today to keep pressing forward. Because I know if I try harder and stay persistent that drive will lead to a victory.

If I were settled with the idea it didn’t matter if I got in or not I wouldn’t be where I’m at today in my field.

I feel that if you show children, in a competitive position, that it’s okay to not succeed, it may carry over into areas of life that will not be as forgiving as they grow up.

Losing helps determine what your recourse will be.

Losing helps you discover what to work on immediately for survival.

Losing helps you appreciate even the small victories in a day.

Losing helps you become more intelligent if you turn it around to a positive.

Every great individual I have met or known has lost so many times, and each one of them told me that without their failures they wouldn’t even be where they are today. Living the dream.

I could only hope that my children will learn to grow through loss the way I had as a youngster. But I’m not sure if modern society will allow them to have that opportunity as I did.

“I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.”
– Michael Jordan

Robert Belley Fitness Marshfield, MA